YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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