you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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