I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
