Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize