Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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