I can feel you judging me through the phone.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
