bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
