I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
