hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
