Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
