Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
