every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize