sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
