I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
