these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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