I'm passing your future prison.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
