I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize