We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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