i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
