the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Randomize
