she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
