think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wear drunk well.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize