I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
