Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Drunk is not a location!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
