brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
