for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sorry about my life...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
