I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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