...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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