this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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