did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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