i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize