Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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