glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
