Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize