What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
