I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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