my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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