they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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