"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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