My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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