Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize