How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
