I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
