Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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