idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
