so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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