dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
