no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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