Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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