return my video game
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
