Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We left an ass print on the piano.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
