I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
