idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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