It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My bed smells like the plague
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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