do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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