vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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