so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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