Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
