Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize