Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
