he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Everyone says I win the strip club
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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