he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Randomize
