There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
