The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize