She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
