Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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