1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
id be glad to
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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