Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
