I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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