God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
