You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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