Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
