i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
