you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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