i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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