I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
