I must be too annoying 4 u.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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