Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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