We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
