I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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