She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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