One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
