i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
