They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
